Happy New Year to all~ CNY is just around the corner, can you feel the "dong dong chiang" mood already? Yeap :) new layout, new header and NEW POST for the year of Rabbit :3
Last year was fairly good overall, lost and gained, met new peoples make new friends. Spent most of my time for assignments and coursework as usual, but i'm pretty used to the be a full time university student and i have to since i'll be stepping into my last semester for third year in monash real soon. Hooray~ one and half years more to graduation! Can't wait! There's nothing much bad for being a student, but the stressful assignments and coursework are seriously killing me. Many times really feel like shouting "wa beh tahan liao" right in front of monash management office! Other than that, not forgetting i've gotten my "golden key" last year :) I'm officially 21st for 1 day plus and i have to step into BIG TWO-TWO now -.- ishh! So unfair for december babies :( especially those at VERY VERY late december..booo!
Started this year with new hopes and resolutions, however the first month of 2011 doesn't turn up quite well. Granny was sent to hospital last week. She passed out in the toilet out of a sudden without any sign of discomfort nor abnormal behavior before that. Me and my sister stayed up the whole night in the hospital to babysit my granny. I never realize that my granny is already 80 years old this year. She looks much older as compared to the image i can recall clearly from my memory. For all this while, she dedicated her life taking care of everyone of us, even at the age of 80 she's still doing house chores routinely. But now, simple movement she needs assistance.
Although we are staying under the same roof but seldom communicate. I claimed "busy" as my excuse. Often, granny need to climb 3 stairs up just to talk to us or sometimes just to deliver fruits for us. Again, i claimed "busy" as my excuse.
The day before the incident, i accompanied my granny for a check-up at nearby clinic. Actually i wasn't meant to accompany her in the first place, just because of i need a lift to somewhere else by my sister so i followed along. I watched every single test she had gone through, listened feedback from doctor, observed her expression. She's old. At the particular moment, i felt a great knock on my head. My eyes watered with tears, only from that moment i'm about to concern about her. To pay for my guiltiness, i paid the medical fees but just a normal check-up can cost up to almost RM 400. How did my granny manage to pay for such a huge amount of money for check-up every week, every month? So unbelievable. I spent all my income from freelance so selfishly for own use, thinking about new bag, new clothes but not a single cent back to home. However, true care and concern that elderly ever wanted is irreplaceable by money.
Just right after the great knock, when i'm about to pay more attention to my granny, the incident occured. This time, tears dropped down uncontrollably. Alarmed. I felt so much guilt in me. All the time i'm so proud of myself being able to spend on what i've earned without asking money from home. But there's nothing much to be proud of, if you don't even know to return. There's nothing much to be proud of, if you claimed "busy" as your excuse to be far from your family.
At the age of 22, i should be able to take up the resposibiliy. I need more time. I need it to compensate the time i've wasted, the care and concern i haven't yet to show to my beloved family. Sorry. Sorry for being such a selfish and self-centered child. Yes, dear granny, proudly to inform you i'm an adult now. I'm more than capable to take care of you :) ♥ You
2011, New year new wish. Please grant my popo a healthy body! Bless my family 心想事成~
~With love ♥
0 comments:
Post a Comment